Baby Son's birth was the culmination of a long and arduous labor. It was the most difficult of my 3 births and the end was fraught with peril.... being strapped to the monitors, hushed talk of heart decelerations, quiet encouragement to push, and the realization that Son had to come out NOW and *I* was the only one who could do it. It was up to me. My body had grown and sustained him for 9 months, but was it time for him to leave, to begin life outside the womb and fill his little lungs with air. It was discovered that his umbilical cord was short, and it was being compressed and stretched as he exited the womb .....that was causing the heart decelerations. Instead of a rosy pink, he was born gray. Thankfully, once he was on the outside, his lungs filled with air, he cried and took on a healthy pink color.
I found his birth to be very unsettling, disturbing in some way. Although everything went well, nothing went as planned. My other 2 births were textbook, smooth, without problem. This one wasn't and looking back, it is quite scary realizing "what COULD have happened"
I have come to realize that life and birth are uncertain. Nothing is guaranteed. Things happened that were beyond my control, it was out of our hands. Thank God the outcome was good.
I have come to a greater respect for birth, for the entire process, the mystery of it all, the way things unravel. It truely is an awesome experience, one I am blessed to take part in, along with the legions of women who have gone before me.