This article recently popped up in my Facebook feed. It's all about how Giuliana Rancic,
|Look at all the priests we had at our wedding.|
I find it to be an odd question actually...Who comes first..kids or marriage?. It seems like just another way to pit parenting style against parenting style. The marriage first people are all:
My marriage comes first because that is the base of our family, and we never, ever, ever, ever, let our kids in our bed, and we leave our kids with a babysitter once a week for date night and twice a year for weekends away. And, when my husband and I are talking, my kids never, ever interrupt, and when my husband comes home, all my focus is on him.
Who lives like that? And, who has enough babysitters or preferably family, willing to watch their kids so they can go away on vacations alone twice a year...because whoever does I kinda want them to adopt me. (Just kidding, Mom).
And, then the kids first people are all:
We choose to have kids, and every single second of my day is devoted to my kids and if they so much as make a peep we come running, and we would never, ever, ever leave them with a babysitter or go to any childless functions and we spend every single second of every single day focused on them.
And, really...who does either of those things? Because, the truth is that priorities change...they change with the season, they change with the stage and they change in the moment. Sometimes the baby cries and wakes up and is fussy and wants to nurse .all.the.time and then she takes priority. And, sometimes Heidi needs help with a math problem or Greta needs help with her writing and that takes priority. Sometimes, John needs something or is having a tantrum, and he takes priority. And, sometimes, Ben and I are trying to have a conversation or spend time together and we kick all the kids (except the baby) out of a room so we can share a meal together or talk without anyone interrupting, and marriage take priority. And, sometimes Ben himself takes priority, like when I have to hold his hand while he fills out the bar application...except I can't literally hold it, since he needs his hands for typing and mouse clicking and all that. And, sometimes it is the hunk of meat sizzling on the stove that takes priority..because if I don't attend to it, it will burn.