Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The Ten Commandments Babies Live By

Rosie wrote a really amusing blog post called Nursing Rules for Babies so I figured I take a break from mad packing and channel my own inner baby and blog what Elsa would no doubt be blogging about if her 8-month old fingers were capable of typing. 

The Ten Commandments Babies Live By

1.

Thou shalt eat only that which is unclean...that which is found on the ground, or under the bed or in the dirt.   Sand, leaves, sticks and paper are especially good and are given to thou by God above for thy consumption. 

2.

Thou shalt toss onto the ground or smash into thy hair any food which is presented on a spoon or on a tray.  Food is to be eaten directly from the ground.

3.

Thou shalt sharpen thy newly formed teeth on they mother's breast while drinking her sweet milk.

4.

Thou shalt laugh and smile endearingly when thy mother shrieks out in pain after sharpening thy teeth on her breast while drinking the sweet milk. 

5.

Thou shalt keep thy parents from being too attached to material possessions.  All expensive riches are to be banged on, knocked over or spill liquid upon them.   All paper or books are to be torn or eaten or chewed. 

6.

Thou shalt not nap longer than 20 minutes alone.

7.

Unless thy parents are waiting for you to wake up to go someplace..then thou shalt nap for 3 hours.

8

Tbou shalt always stretch they arms to grab whatever is just out of thy reach..especially that which is dangerous.

9

Thou shall keep thy mother well-groomed by the pulling of her hair.

10.

Thou shalt keep thy parents arms strong by crying to be picked up and put down 500 million times each and every one of thy days.

And, a bonus 11th.

Thou shalt survive because of thy cuteness.



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3 comments:

  1. Haha! Love it! And yet...she looks so innocent.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah yes, the only reason babies are cute! Survival!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes! And they only sleep in on days that you actually have to get somewhere in the morning...

    ReplyDelete

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