Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Where nobody knows your name


Awhile ago I wrote a post entitled The One Homeschooling Item I Couldn't Live Without.  It was all about (surprise, surprise) the one homeschooling item I couldn't live without...friends. 

Well, seeing as how we just moved to an entirely new state a mere 2.5 weeks ago....I'm living without it.  And it's hard,  Super hard.  Harder than I thought it was be.

This picture really has nothing to do with this post..but hey..what's a post without a picture?

You see, I had been really spoiled.  When we lived in Naples, it was easy to make friends.  We lived on campus, we knew all our neighbors, I had a friend who introduced me to someone who introduced me to somebody...so I actually already had an "in".   Over the course of three years living there, we had an awesome community!  And, everyone was nearby. And, then we moved back to RI, where my kids and I already had friends...and it was great.  We jumped right back into park days and beach days and morning hikes.  And, it was wonderful.  

And, then it all happened so fast...Ben got a job and before I could blink I found myself smack dab someplace where nobody knows your name. And frankly, it's been tougher than I thought it would be.

And to be fair, some people do know our names.  Our neighbors are very nice...we don't have much in common with them...but they are very nice and even helped us put our lawn mower together.   And, I've joined a coop, and have attended a mother's rosary group at a church which is not as local as I would like.  And, we've gone to chess club...and there's homeschool PE and various other activities....in fact we could easily get way overstretched with activities (that are spread way too far apart).  And, I've emailed back and forth with a few people from a large, yahoo group I joined.   And, everyone has been very, very nice and welcoming.   So, we are very, very, very slowly meeting people...but they are just acquaintances. And, it's tiring and draining because nobody knows us...not really.   I'm tired of always introducing ourselves.  I'm tired of initial chit chat.  I'm tired of not knowing people and them not knowing me.  I want to go someplace where people know me and I know them.  I want to walk into a park day, already knowing people.  I want people to already things about us...little things, like we're gluten-free, or into natural health or have always homeschooled and aren't in the military.  And, I want to know those things about other people.  I want to know who else avoids high fructose corn syrup or uses essential oils or blogs or uses this curriculum or is into gluten-free baking.  I want to know who is into sewing or crafting or shooting or football.  I want to know those little things about people that make a friendship....and I want them to know those little things about me.   I want to know people well enough to feel comfortable having them over, or meeting at the park...or exchanging childcare.

Random Picture #2


And, I know that will happen...eventually...but it takes time and, I'm impatient, very, very impatient.  So for right now, we're just biding out time, spending way too much time driving around to various activities trying to find our niche, and just longing to go someplace where everybody knows your name.

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5 comments:

  1. It's so hard to put down roots! Thank goodness for this blogging community, right? The only way I've founf to really make friends, and not just acquaintances, is to invite them to our house. BUt being an introvert who doesn't like hosting, that often means I don't do it!

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  2. Oh we miss you!! Come back - we know your name!! :)

    I was thinking the other day about how weird it would be if we moved from Naples - especially since so many people knew me from the very start, since Tom had been living here for a year and half ahead of time.

    Search for blogs of moms who live in your area! Maybe that would help!

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  3. I feel ya! Prayers for some really cool Friends coming your way!

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  4. Honestly, it sounds like you're way ahead of the game! Involvement is the key, and baby steps, and it sounds like you are doing both.

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  5. I can sure identify with those feelings, Amelia. I told my colllege friends recently: "I like not having to fill in the backstory when I'm with you."

    I know and you know it will happen, but the newness is hard. I'll be praying for you.

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