It's my one-year anniversary of posting What I Wore Sunday. I think that's party worthy, don't you?
Ice cream all around (hey, it's Sunday...feasting time)!
There are 46 pictures here, so I've only missed a few weeks over the last year.
And, here's today's picture.
On my very first post. I wrote that it was an exercise in humility for me. And, it was. It still is.
Many times I've wondered why I continue to post What I Wore Sunday. I'm not a fashion blogger. And, I'm certainly not all that fashionable. You probably shouldn't get any fashion inspiration from me.
A year ago, when I started posting WIWS, Elsa was not quite 6 months old. I don't know about you, but it always takes me a long time to lose excess baby weight. Longer than 6 months anyway. I'm in the 8-months on, 12-months off club...except I gain very little in the first trimester so it's more like the 6-months on, 12-months off club.
So, at only 6 months after giving birth, I wasn't in love with my body. In fact, prior to that point, I usually avoided being photographed. I'd look at pictures of myself and cringe...just cringe. I HATE baptism photos especially, because I certainly don't look good at only a few weeks postpartum.
So, I'm not really sure why I decided to start posting WIWS, but I know why I continued.
Getting my picture taken week after week and posting it on the Internet changed me.
It changed me profoundly.
That sounds dramatic, but it's true.
It helped me see myself in a more objective manner.
It inspired me to put more effort into my appearance. It inspired me to dress nicer, to find more flattering clothes, to wear more make-up and to put forth more effort.
But, most of all, it helped me love and accept my body more. To love and accept it the way it is, right now, not the way I want it to be, or the way it used to be, but the way it is.
Whenever I would get down about my appearance, I'd always think at least I can still rock a WIWS post.
Many years ago, when I was in college and graduate school, I struggled with disordered eating...maybe not quite a full blown eating disorder, but bad enough. I was skinny back then, too skinny for my body type really. I went 18 months without any menstruation, because I was too thin...except I wasn't by most standards. I was still considered a normal, healthy weight for my height. But for me, for my body, it was too thin, so thin that my reproductive system ceased to function.
This was over 15 years ago. I've been basically fine for the last 12 years. Except that tiny, tiny part of me that wasn't....that tiny part that still had those negative voices. The tiny, tiny part that still has vestiges of occasional disordered eating. I was mostly healed, mostly fine...except the tiny part that wasn't.
Until I started taking full body pictures of myself every week and posting them on the Internet. And then, I finally healed. Because somehow in the process of taking pictures of myself every week and posting them on the Internet for all 25 of my readers to see, I finally learned to love and accept my body as it is.
I finally was able to see myself as a beautiful woman.
I was finally able to heal.
It's not about the clothes...not really. Although, I do appreciate the motivation to dress a bit nicer for Mass, especially when we lived in a place where shorts and flip flops were not uncommon Mass attire.
It's about me...learning to love and accept myself...and I'm sharing my journey with all of you.
So, this is my message to you.
No matter what you look like, no matter what you weigh, no matter how many wrinkles or gray hairs, stop hiding from the camera. Stop cringing at photos.
Take your picture...and share it with others. Your friends and family want to see you, YOU. They want to see you as you are, because that is who they love. Wear rocking clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Exercise because it makes you strong and eat healthy because it makes you feel good. And, stop hiding from the camera. Because, you are beautiful.
(Linking up with FLAP).
(Linking up with FLAP).