Friday, July 11, 2014

Why I Deserve a Good Housekeeping Award


Did you know that my mom has a blog?  She does.  And, she recently posted an excellent post...about monsters and penance.     In that post, she makes the claim that no one in her family has ever received a Good Housekeeping Award.

Well........we'll just have to do something about that. 

To prove that I deserve the Good Housekeeping Award, I took seven pictures of my lovely house...a house that no doubt rivals House Beautiful.

1.

Look, look...the dishes are WASHED and NOT IN THE SINK.  And there is ONLY ONE out of place cup on the side.  And, the soap dispenser is only a FEW INCHES away from where it should be.  Those napkins on top of the microwave...totally contribute to the House Beautiful Look...no?

2.

Now...let's open up the cabinets...shall we?


Sure, sure..anyone can stack their dishes with the largest on the bottom and the smallest on the top.  It takes someone with some real pizazz to stack their dishes with the smallest on the bottom and the largest on the top.  It shows a certain level of daring...no?  And those sseemingly haphazardly placed bowls and cups...that's not haphazard..that's artistic dish stacking license. 

3.

Now...check out this kitchen table. 


This may look like a mess..but it's actually all part of my disaster preparation efforts.  One never knows when they will need peanut butter, Vitamin C, scissors or a garlic press.  One must ALWAYS have those things available at a moment's notice.  After all, what if we are attacked by aliens and they telepathically give us starvation induced scurvy?  Now, we can crush up our Vitamin C, mix it with peanut butter, use the scissors to attack the aliens and our lives will be SAVED. 

4.


Insect repellent artistically framing the kitchen window.  Good housekeeping if I ever saw it.   And if you look super closely, you can see the baby swing hanging from the clothesline.  Genius!

5.

Everyone is always talking about how overweight and sedentary Americans are.
Well..do something about it!


Put an exercise step in front of your laptop!  Keep it there at all times....so you can step and exercise while staring at a screen.  This should give me double points in the Good Housekeeping contest.  Not only does the step provide exercise, but those Latin books (just trust me..those are Latin books you see), make me look smart.  Looking smart for guests is an important part of good housekeeping.  Keeping a few Latin schoolbooks out in plain sight is an easy way to give the appearance of intelligence to all your visitors. 

6. 


The closest actually has clothes hanging up in it! On hangers even!  Is that not award worthy?  And, those hanging down straps from those bags up there....that makes for super easy grabbing of the desired bag.  I mean, having the straps hang down like that is actually a safety feature.  If I can't easily grab the bag I want, I might have to dig through them all....and they could all fall on top of me, and I could suffocate under a pile of assorted backpacks and reusable grocery bags. It's a real danger I tell you.

Of course, I'd be remiss without mentioning the school books on those shelves.  They are perfectly arranged to provide easiest access to the best books.

7.



Naked doll (the heart overlays are because this is a family-friendly blog) hanging upside down off an unmade bunk bed?  Pure decorating genius, don't you agree?  And that change purse there...well one never knows when they might need change in the middle of the night, better keep it handy! Along with the open backpack at the end of bed.  Better to keep it handy rather than put it away.

As you notice...there is a theme to good housekeeping. Keep everything out in plain sight so you can easily reach it at a moment's notice.

I'm sure you agree that these photos definitely prove that I deserve a Good Housekeeping Award. Who is going to give it to me???

(Linking up with the other 7 quick takers).
 post signature

5 comments:

  1. Genuinely funny. Good read. You win! But I have to add that I consider it an extra mark of housekeeping genius to have, not only clothes hanging on the hangers in your closet, but at least one laundry basket full of clean, folded, yet-to-be-put-away clothes somewhere in your room. Very handy, ESP when hubby yells, "Dear, do the boys have any clean underwear?"

    Yes. Yes they do. And you score points for having secretly done the laundry -again! :-). TB

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  2. lol! This is great. And if these pictures come from your new house, I'm totally impressed!

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  3. My kitchen always looks awful! I am not known as a good housekeeper, but honestly, I'd rather not spend my free time after dinner washing dishes. That's what the 10am lull is for!

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  4. I love this! Your house is basically my house except that I don't have a yard or bunk beds.

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