Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Blood, Broken Bones and Poop

It's been an interesting last few days. 

Saturday Late Afternoon: We were at my parent's house and Greta comes in the house screaming bloody murder with a trail of blood following her.  And, I do mean bloody murder.  If someone was actually being murdered, I'm not sure that they could scream any louder or be any more hysterical than she was.  It took A LONG time, Charlotte's Web, and a Snickers bar to calm her down and find out what actually happened. Although it was quite obvious that it was her big toe that was injured...the copious amount of blood pouring out of it was a big clue.  We could clearly see the nail was barely hanging on, but she was too freaked out and there was too much blood to see much more.

Finally we got the story out of her and learned that she got it caught in the hinges of a porch swing.  Do you think this will teach my kids to wear shoes from now on???  Probably not. 

My mom called her Doctor friend and we texted him pictures.  He told us how to treat at home (peroxide, gauze, petroleum jelly and hibi clens) and not to worry about the toe nail as it will just fall off and grow back.  So we did.

Sunday Morning: We go to change the gauze and now that the bleeding has stopped we can see the huge gash on the side of her toe.  So, hi ho..off to the ER we go.  Well actually we went to Urgent Care first but they said it was so bad we had to go to the ER. Five hours, 1 X-Ray (yep, it was broken), 5 stitches, 1 tetanus shot, 1 orthopedic boot, 2 antibiotic shots (along with an antibiotic prescription) and a scary warning later about watching for dead tissue we went home.

Monday:  RIGHT before we were supposed to leave for our first day of homeschool coop, we notice that toilet is clogged. I mean really clogged.  As in, the plunger isn't cutting it clogged.

I don't think there is anything more panic-inducing other than having your ONE TOILET in your ONE BATHROOM be non-functioning when you live in a household of people with small bladders (the smallest of which is mine). 

So, with much reluctance, I pried myself away from trying to fix it and we had a nice time at our first coop.  Only to come home and have to face the epic toilet problem again. 

Much googling later, I was able to experience the fun of digging through poop again.  The last time I did that, I wore long gloves and the poop was still inside the cow.  This time, I made do with heavy duty trash bags, instead of gloves and the poop was on the bottom of the toilet.  I had to unscrew it from the floor, lift it up and clear it out from the bottom. I'm unsure, but I think the culprit was some sort of cloth thing.

Yes, I did that.  All by myself!!!! But when your bladder is screaming, you can do amazing things! 

It.was.disgusting...but it saved us an emergency plumber call and we got a functioning bathroom again. And what with all the cleaning stuff I used afterwards, the bathroom hasn't been that clean in awhile. So there is that. 

Thankfully, so far today has been uneventful.  Well, except for the $119 the doctor's office charged us to look at her toe for all of 1 minute and say "It looks good, come back in a week to get the stitches out."  So, no scary tissue loss, thankfully. 

Hope your weekend was NOT as interesting as mine. 

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  1. Hail to the heroic victor every woman's fear - lady vs. the clogged toilet :) I'm impressed!
    So sorry about that toe :( but happy to hear there were no further complications.
    Hope you're week is a little more even keel!

    1. Oh goodness! Look at those grammar typos! *You're* so gracious to overlook them :)

  2. YIKES!! Glad your daughter's toe is going to be fine. That sounds like a horrible mess. And speaking of messess....EWWWWWWW! But how awesome that you fixed the toilet yourself! That deserves big kudos in my book!

  3. We had a toe episode like that once... except I was the one who noticed the trail of blood on my kitchen floor, as my daughter has freakishly high pain tolerance. And no, sadly, it did not inspire her to wear shoes. Oh my goodness, if that was my toilet I'd go find a bush in the backyard to be my bathroom for the day, till husband got home. Kudos to you, Superwoman!

  4. Oh.my.gosh! You're my new kind of superhero! Poor Greta! Poor you! Your made it through, though, you amazing momma!

  5. First, your poor daughter!! I'm glad she's okay.

    I am SO impressed!! I didn't even know it was a thing to have to unscrew a toilet and lift it up like that. That was amazing!!


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