Monday, September 1, 2014

Happy Labor Day! Things NOT to Say to Those who Don't Labor (The Unemployed and Underemployed)


Happy Labor Day!

Labor day is a bit of a difficult holiday for me, as we are still struggling with finding a job. It's been a long, difficult road and one we've been down before. 

Dealing with unemployment is discouraging and depressing and all sorts of horrible. It's easy to be filled with self-doubt and self-questioning and there are difficult decisions to be made.

As the days/weeks/months go by, it gets harder and harder.  Not only are there financial worries, but it's easy for depression and discouragement to sink in. The uncertainty of the future can be pretty unsettling.

Sometimes the well-meaning words of friends or family only add to the difficulty. 

Here are the top worst things people have said to us about being unemployed or underemployed.

1). In my experience, the faithful Catholic families seem to find jobs right away after graduation because God takes care of them.   To be fair to the person who said this, they said it to me while my husband was still in his first year of law school, so they had no idea what the future would hold.  But still..those words still haunt me.  Still. And, that was almost 4 years ago. 

2). Focus on finding a place to settle and the job will follow. 
And when it doesn't? Last year we spent a year living in an area we didn't want to live for a job my husband didn't really want and it was HARD. When that job ended, we moved to a place we want to live but are still waiting for a job.  Both situations are HARD and it's a tough, tough decision. 

3.) So and so and so and so and so and so (in the same profession) is having a hard time finding a job too. This is just not encouraging, it's just not.

4) You can always start your own business.  No, no you can't.  Some people are entrepreneurial and do fine with starting their own business.  And some people aren't. Being a business owner is NOT for everyone.  It's just not.  (edited to add...It also costs a lot of $$$) And making it sound easy is not helpful. 

5). You should do x.  Advice like this usually isn't helpful. Usually we know what we should be doing and are trying to do it.

6.) Pray x novena. We've prayed dozens of novenas and still nothing.  Prayers are not like a lucky charm or magic spell and saying things like "so and so prayed x novena and on the 9th day was offered a fabulous job" treats it like such. It doesn't work that way. Not to say that prayer can't help or that it's worthless, but don't treat it like a magic spell to get whatever you need.

And that's all my venting for now. 

Happy Labor Day!

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3 comments:

  1. #4 You need money to start a business!

    To reactivate my license is just a few hundred dollars, but to put out 'a shingle' costs money!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't know what I can say, except that I will pray for you tonight. Sounds trite, but it is true. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am so sorry that you and your husband are struggling in this area. I know it is hard. :(

    ReplyDelete

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