Sunday, November 23, 2014

Reflections on Turning 37


I'm 37 years old today and I'm not the young mom any more. Actually I haven't been for several years.  It's weird.  In many ways I still think of myself as young...but I'm not.  I'm 37. 

I got married when I was 23 and had Heidi when I was 24.  For most of my early years of motherhood, I was one of the youngest moms I knew. Everyone I knew seemed to be older than me...much older.  Especially when we lived in Rhode Island, where it seems as though almost no one has kids before they turn 30.  

Then a few years ago that changed.  Actually it started to change around the time we moved to Florida so Ben could go to Ave Maria Law.  I was 32 at the time and suddenly I started meeting all these moms that were still in their 20's.   And, I felt old. 

And, now a lot of moms I know are actually younger than me and have more kids than me.

Heck....babies born the year I graduated from high school are now in college and old enough to vote.  Weird.

It feels strange being closer to 40 than 30 or 20.    

It feels strange knowing that my childbearing years are rapidly coming to a close. I read all these blogs from younger moms worrying about NFP and how many kids they will have with their many years of fertility left. 

And I just can't relate. I probably will only be able to have one more baby...maybe two, but that may be being overly hopeful. Yes..I know some people have babies after age 40.  But, I'm not some people. I wasn't all that fertile in my 20's so I sorta doubt it's going to improve when I'm 40. I've never managed to get pregnant with a viable baby before the youngest is age 2. Thank you breastfeeding!

So, I'm 37.  I'm close to 40. It sounds old..but I don't feel that old. I probably have more energy now than I did in my 20's. Or maybe I just know how to be more efficient with my energy now.

I've finally figured out how to cook well, how to throw ingredients together and come up with something edible and healthy. 

I've figured out how I like to dress and how I like my hair.  I've figured out how to parent and I no longer feel guilty that I'm too lenient or not consistent enough because my kids are turning out better than okay. I can write a decent blog (I think) and I can cure the common cold. 

I'm more confident in my parenting and in my choices.

Overall, I think I'm doing okay.  I may not own a house or a dog or a horse (the only things I ever really wanted) but that's okay.  I haven't given up my horse/dog dream yet, and I do have four great kids and a husband who loves me despite my numerous short-comings. Plus, I have  6-toed cat. Not everyone owns a polydactyl feline.  



And, I take pictures of what I wore every Sunday.  Why? I don't know.   But I like it. So here's what I wore today and if you want to see more outfits, visit Fine Linen and Purple. 


And, Happy Feast of Christ the King!

10 comments:

  1. I'm 30, but I can't seem to get pregnant before baby is 2 either - even just nursing once a day and on demand at night has kept me from ovulating this time. That doesn't seem like it should be enough but I guess it is. Anyway, I hope God blesses you with lots more babies and maybe a horse too ;). Happy Birthday!

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  2. Love your reflections Amelia. Happy birthday!

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  3. I loved these reflections. I hope that I'm as well put together in a few more years. Lovely outfit btw.

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  4. "'ve finally figured out how to cook well, how to throw ingredients together and come up with something edible and healthy"

    Haha I feel as if this is my life right now:-). I can make a delicious meal that is far from healthy... Or a healthy meal that is not necessarily bad tasting... But plain....

    Happy birthday Amelia!

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  5. Happy birthday again!

    I constantly meet women my age or younger who have way more kids. I'll just get two in before I'm 30! Oh well, it's God's plan for my life...not anyone else's. :)

    Your confidence in inspiring and reassuring. In a world where women constantly second guess themselves, I draw strength from your confidence - it makes me feel better about making decisions in my mothering. Thanks for writing :)

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  6. Happy Birthday!! You are very blessed.
    And I once had a 6-toed siamese cat named "Mittens," aren't they so cute? :) - says a not-cat-lover. Blessings!

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  7. Happy Birthday! I know what you mean. Being in my late thirties is great because I have gained so much confidence and I enjoy my family, but it is hard because of the dwindling fertility combined with the desire for more children.

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  8. Happy Birthday! I love the monochromatic thing you've got going in your Sunday duds.

    How's the post-Law School job hunt going?

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