Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Whom Do You Trust?

My lawyer husband tells me that "Whom Do You Trust" is grammatically correct.  So, if it really should be "Who Do You Trust?" blame him. 

So..the question.

Whom Do You Trust?

We seem to be bombarded with conflicting information everywhere we turn.  

Conflicting information about every parenting, health and lifestyle decision imaginable.  

Feeding Methods. Sleep Methods. Vaccinations. Circumcision. How to Treat a Fever. When to Start Solids. What to Feed Your Kids. What to Eat Yourself. Best Foods. Worst Foods. Natural Birth vs. Epidural vs. Cesarean.  Home birth. 

There are controversies for everything....with plenty of arguments and data on each side.

So..whom do you trust?  How do you decide? How do you decide which studies you should pay attention to...and which ones are total bunk?   For just about every study you can find an "expert" to refute it. 

So what do you do?

Well, I can't tell YOU what to do..but I can tell you what I do. 

Common Sense.  Does what this person/data/study claim MAKE SENSE? 

This is probably the biggest thing. 

Don't underestimate the power of common sense.

Everyone is all fond of saying that "correlation does not equal causation."  And that's true. 

From TwentyTwoWords.com we have this funny graph showing a rather shocking correlation between total revenue generated by skiing facilities and death from being tangled in bedsheets. 

Shut DOWN the skiing facilities...people are DYING in their sheets!!

Or maybe not. I think it's safe to say that this is just a weird thing. 

But what about when a correlation COULD make sense?

Like the correlation between c-sections and increased risk of allergies and asthma.

Well, that probably isn't really a fair example because with c-sections oftentimes there isn't a lot of choice.  Clearly if you need a c-section to save you or your baby's life or to save your baby from brain damage....well Thank God we have them. 

However, it *may* be something to consider if your choice isn't so clear-cut as that Maybe. That's up to you. I'm NOT judging those who have elective c-sections.

However, it makes sense to me, to only have a c-section WHEN NECESSARY.

However, on the flip side of the whole natural child birth debate, it makes sense to me that there is an increased risk of both maternal and baby death during homebirth because there are no life-saving procedures IMMEDIATELY available SHOULD they become necessary.  To me, that just makes sense. Maybe that doesn't make sense to you? Or maybe you decide that the increased risks are offset by the benefits of homebirth (of which there are many). That's okay..it's a personal choice.  You have to do what makes sense to you. 

Just like it makes sense to me that there might be a correlation between increased recovery time from the flu and the use of fever reducing medications.  Because fever is actually a good thing. So..I almost never give my kids my kids any fever reducing medicine. In fact, we currently don't have any children's versions of those medicines in the house. 

However, part of the reason that may make sense to me is because of...

My World View and My Experience.

My world view is probably different from yours.  And, that's okay.  My world view is that all medical procedures carry some level of risk along with their benefit and the risk/benefit analysis should be carefully analyzed.

For example, in the case of circumcision. We don't do it.  Why?  Because my world view is to avoid  unnecessary medical procedures and I found no compelling reason to remove a perfectly fine, non-diseased body part. So..no. Your world view may be different.  That's okay.

Experience also plays a huge role.  I have had a great deal of success treating various conditions at home using herbal remedies, essential oils, vitamins and other supplements.  Things like infected toes, mastitis, the flu, coughs, urinary tract infections, yeast infections, ear infections. You name it...I have a home remedy for it. 

My oldest daughter's back pain was significantly helped by chiropractic care...so yes...I'm a believer in that. 

However, I'm highly skeptical of homeopathic medicine (which is quite different from herbal medicine).  I've tried it and never had one iota of success.  The way it works doesn't make any sense to me (while herbal remedies make A TON of sense).

However, if it works for YOU...awesome!!! 

Have you ever noticed that you can tell someone's world view by the articles they post on Facebook?  That's because you can find an article to support just about any world view. Isn't it interesting how differently differnt people think?  And how rare it is for someone to actually CHANGE THEIR MIND because of something their friend posted on Facebook.  Doesn't happen.

Why? Because different people determine what makese sense to them based on their world view and their experience. And that is why when faced with the same questions...different people choose to believe different sources.   And for the most part..that is okay. 

Just be confident in YOUR decisions.  Then the "mommy wars" can't bother you. Who cares if someone says X when you do Y? You have YOUR common sense and YOUR world view and YOUR experience to help you make YOUR decisions. 

Be confident in them!

post signature


  1. I was just thinking about all this today! Have you seen the story about the Washington state woman who's three children were seized by CPS allegedly only because she chose a homebirth and didn't want to treat her son's eczema with a steroid? I am skeptical by nature so I suspect that there is more to this story, but how do we know? It seems like there are people on both sides of the healthcare fence who feel like the other side is not just wrong, but endangering their children by vaccinating/not vaccinating or circumsizing or homeschooling. I agree that good common sense can go a long way and a big dose of humility helps too. :)

    1. I did hear that. It's just crazy..but it's also one of those 'whom do you trust" things because I do think we may not be getting the whole story. All we can know is what the parent's said...those records are private. But, if that really was all there was to it, that's crazy.

  2. So true! My problem is when conflicting statements both make sense in their own ways and I can't figure out which makes more sense. I'm trying to trust my intuition more. . . . Oh well, it becomes less of a problem w/ the increased experience I get from each passing day.

  3. I've struggled with this same subject, Amelia. There truly is SO much conflicting research for all kinds of decisions we've had to make in our family. I think the single most thing that has helped me when making important choices has been prayer. I'm sure you feel the same way. I strongly believe that God--who knows ALL--also knows what is best for each one of us in our individual circumstances. He does not always guarantee a perfect outcome, even when we feel led by Him to make the choices we make. He does promise us, though, that all things will work for our good in the end, and that He will help us through all of our mortal challenges and strengthen us through His Son's Great Sacrifice. That is really the only way I've learned to have peace in this contradictory world! Thanks for sharing your great thoughts, Amelia!

  4. We should talk! We had so many incredible cures through homeopathy (which I began using with some skepticism) that I changed my worldview to accommodate it. Among other things, it cured my irregular heartbeat and dissolved a cyst on my daughter's skull that we were preparing to have surgically removed. On the other hand, I am totally open to EOs but in my experience with them so far, they haven't done anything except temporarily ameliorate symptoms here and there. What am I missing?

    1. We should talk!! And to fair to homeopathy I haven't really ever used it under a lot of guidance from a trained homeopath...just tried a few things myself.

      As far as essential oils go, I've had most success using them for topical issues. I buy a pre-diluted Frankencense EO roll-on from Plant Therapy and use it on my face. It is the BEST thing for cleaing up blemishes, blocked pores, etc. My 12-yo uses it as well on her face and it helps keep her adolescent skin clear. I've also had great success using Melaleuca Oil on any infected wounds or things like that. And, we use Cedarwood oil (a pretty strong dilution) as mosquito repellant in the summer and that does work really well.

  5. "You have YOUR common sense..." Actually, by definition, common sense would be that awareness or view which could, and should, be held by all. I wonder what G. K. Chesterton would think of the tug-of-war going on inside of mothers these days. (I wish I could ask him for advice instead of Google!) I think I recall a prediction he made; as "tolerance" and "freedom" increase, our living conditions become constrictive and intolerable. I certainly feel that way when presented with all the options out there to choose from as I form my world view (and reshape it each time my choice proves to be a mistake)! Have you ever heard of the paradox of choice? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Paradox_of_Choice This is so true from what I have experienced... less IS more.

    1. Yes, I have heard of the paradox of choice. It explains a lot why I love shopping at Aldi. It's not just the low prices but the fact that the store is overall very small and there are much fewer choices to choose from. It's just so much less stressful than going into a HUGE supermarket with ten million choices to choose from.

    2. Sounds like a lovely store. :-)


Please comment! I love reading your comments!!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...