Sunday, January 25, 2015

Why I'm Not A Fan of That Similac Ad About The "Mommy Wars" and WIWS

You've probably seen that Similac commercial making the rounds. You know..the sappy one about the mommy wars where everyone comes together to rescue the baby rolling down the hill. Everyone seems to love it.  Everyone but me that is.  I'm not a fan. 

Here's why. (And bonus..if you read through to the end, you'll get to see what I wore Sunday. Or just scroll to the end..I'll never know). 

It assumes there actually are mommy wars.   Really, there aren't. Or at least, not anywhere but in the dredges of the Internet.  In real face to face interactions, there is no war.  Yes, I know the ad was an exaggeration, but it's meant to imply that these parenting topics (breast vs. bottle, natural childbirth vs. not, and working moms vs. stay at home moms) are actually more divisive than they are.  They really aren't all that divisive. At least not in my experience.   And, I've been a mom for almost 13 years in 7 different states.  I've been part of La Leche League and Mom's Club. Homeschooling groups and our informal friendly neighborhood law school wives hang out outside in the afternoon club (man I miss those times and the 70 degree winters!).  Assorted playgroups and church groups with Catholics, Protestants, Atheists, and Unitarian Universalists. I've been friends with moms that breastfeed, formula feed, sleep train, baby-wear, co-sleep, vaccinate, don't vaccinate, home-birth, induced epidural, working moms, part-time working mom, stay at home moms, alternative medicine moms, Motrin-giving-moms, spanking moms, gentle discipline moms.

Really..these issues don't divide real people in real life. Implying that they do just feeds into the so-called war which in my mind, was basically just made up.    

It assumes judgement where most likely there is none.
If you bottle-feed your the breastfeeding moms aren't judging you.  They really aren't. If you breastfeed your 2-year old in people aren't judging you. Natural child-birthers do NOT judge moms who have epidurals or c-sections.   

It implies that moms can't have convictions and that conviction is the same thing as judgement.
This is what really bothers me.  Making up "mommy-wars" is basically saying that moms can't have convictions about their parenting and if they do, they are judging.  If two moms parent differently, then they must be at war. That's ridiculous. I've written before about the moral relativism of parenting.  I can get along just great with people who parent all sorts of different ways than me.  It's not war..but that doesn't mean that I can't have my convictions and they can't have theirs...and we can't all just get along anyway.

It closes down parenting discussions and mother to mother support. 
The number one way moms learn about being a mom is from other moms  We get support from each other.  But, now because there are so-called "mommy wars", people can only share advice or stories with a million disclaimers about how "this is just what I do and everyone does things differently and blah, blah, blah" and everyone is so scared of being seen as judgemental that they can't actually share advice or experience and no one gets support.

It feeds into stereotypes.
That moms who follow certain practices behave a certain way. It's meant to end the wars, but ultimately it just fuels them. In my opinion, if people really want to end the "mommy wars", they should stop seeing war and division where there is none. 

It's Sappy. I don't like sappy commercials.  Just my own personal preference.  Not a fan of the sap.  


Different note...I'm excited to link-up for What I Wore Sunday.  My favorite link-up.             

Yes, I braved the snow.  And everything I'm wearing is thrifted...the jacket is from ThredUp.  The rest is from an actual brick and mortar thrift store.  I really like this outfit..maybe because I'm wearing one of only two patterned shirts I own. And, I love those pants..I really need to wear them more often.                           
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