Sunday, March 13, 2016

WIWS - 19 Weeks and When It's *Probably* Your Last baby

Linking up with Rosie for What I Wore Sunday is so much fun!


Here I am at 19 weeks pregnant.  With a 3.5 year old Elsa photobombing the background.

None of these are actual, real, maternity clothes.  I'm wearing a a long, stretchy back shirt, a black-button down shirt, a skirt from Target and my trusty compression stockings. 

I know it's not very Catholic to say, but this is probably our last baby. That's not a proclamation of "I'm done" so much as a realistic assessment of what the future likely holds. 

I don't have any health problems really.....just this thing called Advanced Maternal Age.  I'm 38 now, When this baby is born I will be 38.75.  When I turn 40, this baby will be around 15 months.  I typically have long periods of breastfeeding infertility (like over 1.5 years), so unless something unexpected and sad happens (like the baby dies), it is unlikely I would get pregnant again before age 40.

And, it's really not that likely that I will get pregnant after age 40. 

Have you seen this chart?


As you can see, around age 40, the fertility lines cross, so statistically more women are infertile than fertile.  Yes, lots of women do get pregnant in their 40s.  But lots more don't.  And, I was never that fertile to begin with....not even in my 20's.  I don't come from a line of super fertile women.  So, we're thinking this is the last one. Of course you never know, but I'm preparing myself for this being the last one.

It's sorta bittersweet.  In many ways, it's a relief.  I feel slightly ridiculous being pregnant and also having a teenager.  Dealing with diapers and high school at the same time. It's an odd place in life to be. 

But, I actually do like being pregnant (sometimes) and I love that first year with a baby.  I'm definitely a baby person.  Toddlers.....not so much.  But, I love having a baby and breastfeeding and all that baby stuff. 

When you're thinking it's your last baby, that pressure to "savor every moment" is really intense.  You know how fast time flies and you see a different stage of life up ahead.  A good stage in life, but a different one. 

I thought I would be sad when this time came, but I'm not.  While I am grateful to have this baby, I'm also fine with this being the last one.  I never said that before with any of the other ones.....I always hoped for more babies.  Now I feel very content with this being the last one.

 I've never actually taken baby bump pictures before.  I have very few pictures of pregnant me with the other ones, so it's nice to be able to document this time.  

All that to say.....hopefully I'll be linking up more for WIWS in the future. 


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