Sunday, February 19, 2017

Why I Used Cloth Diapers and Why I Ditched Them (The Pros and Cons of Cloth Diapers)

When Heidi was a baby, I was determined to be all crunchy-granola type mom.  I do extended breastfeeding, make my own baby food, avoid unnecessary medications, natural remedies, natural childbirth, baby wearing...the whole she-bang.  Part of that is cloth diapers, of course. Except when Heidi was a baby, we lived in a apartment and didn't have a washer/dryer, so I didn't use cloth at first.  However, when we moved into our own house with a washer/dryer when she was around 20 months, I eagerly invested in cloth diapers and used them ever since. Until I stopped.

I used them because they were cheaper, cuter, environmentally friendly and more natural. I even belonged to this whole cloth diapering playgroup.  Why there was a whole playgroup centered around cloth diapers, I will never know.  But, I did meet some nice moms through it. 

And I kept using them through the rest of the kids. Until I stopped recently after using them for several months with Annika.  Here's why. 

First the pros:

Cloth is cheaper:  Cloth diapers can definitely save money, especially if you use them for more than one child and pass them down.

Cloth is more natural:  I mean, I'm not really sure what is inside disposable diapers, but whatever it is it is not natural because it can hold a ton of pee and not smell and still keep the baby dry. That's gotta be some weird chemical stuff. 

Cloth is cuter: Honestly, I think this is what draws a lot of people towards cloth.  Cloth diapers come in all sorts of cute patterns and colors.  Mommy likes to place dress-up with the baby. 

Cloth is better for the environment: Probably anyway.  They say disposable diapers end up in the landfill for like a gazillion years.  So even with the extra washing and energy, it still probably comes out ahead of disposable diapers. 

Now the cons:

Cloth is more work:  And, I don't just mean the work of washing diapers.  Although there is that.  But the work of changing diapers.  Cloth diapers need to be changed VERY frequently. As in as soon as the baby pees in it one time.  For some babies (like mine) that could be just about every 30 minutes.  Two hours is probably the maximum. This can be rather annoying, especially when you are out and about.   And forget about overnight.  You have to put SO MUCH CLOTH on a baby to last overnight (especially if the baby is nursing all night).  SO MUCH.  As in the diaper ends up being SUPER THICK and probably uncomfortable. I gave up night-time cloth diapers very quickly.  For years, I had a happy compromise of using cloth during the day and disposables at night and when out of the house. I did that for most of my kids. 

Even still, I would say that I would change on average 10-12 cloth diapers a day as opposed to 5-6 disposable diapers.  So that's about double the number of diaper changes.  

Cloth leaks: I've never had a disposable diaper leak pee.  I have had a few blow-outs in disposable diapers, but never really had one leak pee.  Cloth diapers on the other hand leak frequently.  And since my babies basically nurse all day long, they also pee all day long, which means each day usually involved at least 1 outfit change due to diaper leaks because I would forget and go longer than 60-90 minutes in between changes.  Sometimes I would change 2-3 diapers an hour.

Cloth stinks: When I used cloth, I had enough diapers to last several days between washing.  I could easily go 4-5 days...that's how large my stash was.  However, that also meant that the dirty diapers were sitting around for several days in the diaper pail.  It just didn't smell good.  It wasn't that there was anything wrong with my diapers.just that any pee-soaked cloth is going to stink after a day or so, especially when you are talking about an older baby.

Cloth is more complicated:  This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it is a factor. There are many different types and styles of cloth diapers and different people have different preferences.   Sometimes it can take a bit of experimenting to see what you like.  Plus, different types of inserts/diapers go with different covers/pockets.  Over the years I had accumulated quite a large stash (mostly given to me by other cloth diaper drop-outs).  It was all fine when I was changing the baby because I knew what goes with what, but if someone less familiar tried to change the baby.  Well, let's just say there were a few times the baby was dressed in two fitted diapers and no cover or some other mishap that resulted in diaper malfunction.

Cloth is bulky.  When she's wearing cloth, the answer is yes.

Why I ditched the cloth: I just recently stopped using my cloth diapers and went all sposie with Annika.  The main reason being the leaks and increased number of diaper changes. I just couldn't deal with it anymore.  I figured I had done my dues to save the earth and I just needed a break from changing diapers every hour.  I was also tired of dealing with the stink from the diaper pail.   And I no longer feel like we are in a place where I feel so financially strapped to stretch every single penny.  So, I'm giving myself a break for awhile. 

I will likely bring the cloth out again when it comes time for potty-training. I'm a fan of doing it early and i find that cloth does make potty-training easier. 

What about you?  Do you use cloth diapers?  Have you tried them? Did you stick with it?

Any hey look, it's Sunday.  So I figured I would link up with Rosie for My Sunday Best.

It's in the 60's today, even though it's February, which is why Elsa is wearing a summer dress. Here is what Elsa, Annika and I wore today. 

Then Ben decided to get in the picture, so now we have a nice family picture minus the three older kids, who are much less cooperative when it comes to picture taking,

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Baby Sleep...What I'm Doing Differently with Baby #5....or how I gently taught my baby to sleep alone(ish)

I've never had a kid that was naturally a "good sleeper".  I've never had a kid that just falls asleep anywhere.  I've never had a kid that slept longer than average.  In fact, whenever I would look at those sleep charts of how much sleep a child of x age should be my sleeping...mine were always on the lowest end of the range..or sometimes even lower,

Nighttime, I don't usually have a problem with. I love co-sleeping.  I don't mind co-sleeping at all.  I actually sleep better next to my babies. 

Naps are a different thing though.  I don't like napping and I certainly can't lie around in bed every time my baby needs to take a nap.  Ain't no one got time for that. 

With the first three babies, for all naps, I would nurse them lying down in bed and when they feel asleep I would sneak away.  It worked okay.  I mean..they napped.  Not a super long time, but they did it, and I was able to get some stuff done.  

Then along came Elsa.  And she was the WORST NAPPER EVER.  She would fall asleep nursing, and then a butterfly would flap its wings in China and she would wake up.  She would not sleep alone and consequently spent most of her infancy getting by on short, little cat-naps. Most of her naps took place in my lap, while I tapped, tapped, tapped away on the old computer keyboard.  I should have written a book, but mostly I just wrote blog posts. 

Then we had Annika and I was determined to do things differently.  I got a Special Delivery Baby Hammock and starting putting her down in it when she fell asleep.  Sometimes she would stay asleep, sometimes she wouldn't.  But overall, it was a big improvement over how Elsa napped.  It was working okay. 

For the first 4 months, that is. Then it stopped working. The length of time she would sleep in it got less and less. She would wake up sooner and cry and fuss and move around, and not fall back asleep.  She had to be in the deepest of sleeps to stay asleep and as soon as she shifted into lighter sleep, she would awaken. I think the movement of the hammock as she moved around was actually waking her up.  She also developed a very strong preference for sleeping on her belly, as she learned to roll over rather early. Even while co-sleeping, she preferred (still prefers) to sleep on her belly.  You can't sleep on your belly while in the hammock.

So, for awhile we struggled.  She would fall asleep nursing in my lap and I would feel pinned down and unable to get up.  It was frustrating.  I did NOT want to be pinned down to a napping baby all the time, and while I love babywearing in certain situations, I really wanted my baby to be able to nap alone. 

So, I checked out this book from the library.

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I read it.  It was definitely helpful, although night-time sleeping isn't really our problem as I love co-sleeping and night-time awakenings don't really bother me as long as the baby falls back asleep quickly while nursing in bed.  

So, I realized that THIS is the book I actually needed. 

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And it was very helpful.

Over the course of about 2 weeks, I gently taught Annika to sleep alone in her crib (pack n play actually). It's a beautiful thing. 

Now, she still doesn't fall asleep alone.  I still nurse her to sleep.  But now I can nurse her to sleep and then put her in the crib and she'll sleep in there for OVER AN HOUR BY HERSELF!! 

I don't mind nursing her sleep because well....I have to nurse her anyway.  I mean, she has to eat and it just makes SENSE to put her to sleep with as full a belly as possible.  Plus, nursing just makes her fall asleep so easily.  All my kids nursed to sleep as babies and then eventually learned to fall asleep without nursing.  Pinky-swear. It does happen. 

These are the steps I took to accomplish this:

1).  Every time I thought she would fall asleep nursing, I would nurse her upstairs in the bedroom on the floor next to the crib and then once she was "asleep enough" put her in the crib on her belly* and then pat/rub her back until she would fall asleep again.  She doesn't take a pacifier, but she does sometimes suck her thumb and will suck on our fingers, so sometimes I would stick my finger in her mouth to let her suck and sometimes I would help her find her own thumb to suck.

To be honest, this stage did involve a small amount of crying.  Not much....never more than a few minutes and I never left her alone to cry.  Sometimes it took a few tries of picking her up and nursing her until she was fully asleep again and then trying again, but I was just really consistent with it and kept trying for every nap (and when I would put her to bed for the night). 

It took about 2 weeks of doing this consistently, but now I can nurse her until she is asleep and pretty much reliably put her down every time.  I don't even have to worry about how "asleep-asleep" she is and can put her down as soon as she falls asleep.

2). However, she was still waking up after a short time.  It was longer than when we used the hammock..but still usually less than 30 minutes.   So, this is where the book became really helpful. I was able troubleshoot some of our problems and once I worked on those, her sleep much improved and now she will take 1+ hour long naps by herself.

This is what I learned. 

I need to be more intentional about her naps.  Apparently, at 6 months, a baby can only have 2-3 hours of awake time before needing to nap.  I hadn't realized that.  I was just letting her fall asleep nursing (amongst the midst of our busy household) whenever she was tired, which basically resulted in her getting over-tired a lot because by 6 months she is more than capable of keeping herself awake.  She's alert.  She's busy. She's smart. She wants to be involved in the happenings of the house.  She was keeping herself awake.   So now, about 2-3 hours after her last awakening time, I take her upstairs and get her ready for a nap.  This involves changing her diaper, turning on the white noise machine and nursing her.

I need to use white noise. I've never used white noise to help my babies sleep before.  Actually..that is not true.  Heidi and Greta both used to sleep in the stroller in the bathroom with the fan on and lights off (because we lived in houses that had bathrooms without any windows and the room would get totally dark) as toddlers.  They napped really well like that.  But since then I had forgotten about the importance of white noise and hadn't used it.  However, the book really suggested it, so I thought I would try it. we have smartphones so I could download a free app and try it out before buying a machine.  And it worked.  So I bought a cheap white noise machine and it really does help her sleep longer.  

She likes the waterfall and rainfall sounds best. The heartbeat sound is creepy and reminds me of Edgar Allen Poe, so we don't use that one. 

I needed to make the crib pack n play more comfortable.  Let's face it.  A pack n play mattress is like sleeping on a piece of cardboard.  Not that comfortable. Of course, I could invest in a crib, but I like the space-saving and portability of the pack n play.   So, I put a crocheted blanket totally flat underneath the fitted sheet and this makes it a lot softer and more comfortable, while still being safe, in my opinion.  I'm sure that is a safety no-no, but for a 6-month old that has been rolling since she was 2-3 months and crawling (army crawl) since 5 months, I think it's fine She is in no danger of suffocating anywhere and is past the age of greatest SIDS risk. Plus, they say SIDS is a problem in babies that sleep too deeply. Sleeping too deeply is NOT her problem. Sleeping too lightly is her problem. 

I need to put her to bed earlier.   The book suggests putting kids to bed by 6:30 or 7:00 PM.  I don't usually get her to bed that early, but I do start to try earlier than I used to.  Now, she is going to sleep around 7:30 PM and sleeping the first part of the night by herself. Then I take her into bed with me once she wakes up or once I go to sleep. 

I need to be intentional about naps even when not at home. To be honest, I used to pooh-pooh those parents who were super rigid about naps and would miss events and stay home so their baby could nap.  Now, I sorta understand it. Although I'm still not willing to do it.  With 5 kids, you just can't be all "sorry, we're dropping out of co-op so the baby can nap every morning".  Not going to happen.  Not fair to the older kids.  What I can do however, is help her nap while we are out. 

Another thing I learned is that once babies get past the newborn stage, they really need to nap at least 45-60 minutes to get the restorative benefits of a nap.  Anything less is a "crap nap" and not as beneficial.  This means that if we are out and she is napping in the go, I still need to be intentional and plan ahead. Thankfully, she have been sleeping in the silng/ergo when we are out of the house pretty much since she was born, so she is used to sleeping in there. One morning a week we are at co-op from 9-12   Normally at home, she would take a morning nap around 10:00 AM.  So, at co-op, around 10:00-10:30 AM, I put her in the ergo or sling and make a point of walking around with her a bit so she will fall asleep and then she snoozes in there all during the chemistry class I teach.   Or, if I know we are going to be someplace until x time and that she will need a nap, I try to nurse her/sling her at least 1 hour before x time, so she can get that hour long nap in.

The downside of doing this, is she isn't falling asleep every time we get in the car anymore, so she is a bit crankier in there.  But, she is sleeping better overall and she's no longer subsisting off of 20 minutes car naps. 

And this is how I gently taught my baby to sleep by herself.  At least for naps and the first part of the night. I really liked the no-cry series of books.  It's not a quick fix.  It takes longer than sleep-training, I am sure.  But it was gentle and didn't involve lots of crying and was something I felt good about doing. 

Now we are all much happier, as she is getting better naps and I am getting a lot more free time and not feeling frustrating by being pinned down with a sleeping baby.  I don't know that this would necessarily work for every baby.  I'm not sure that it would have with Elsa, but it is working with Annika and I think it would have worked with several others of my less high-needs babies as well. 

*DISCLAIMER:  I didn't start teaching her how to sleep alone until around 6 months.  Since we're doing belly-sleeping and I modified her mattress to make it softer, I wouldn't recommend doing those particular things with a younger baby. 

Sunday, January 22, 2017

What I Want my Daughters to Know about Being a Woman.

My Facebook feed has been blowing up with friends posting about the Women's March and protesting the Women's march and showing pictures of the Women's March.  People sharing the good stuff and the bad stuff. People posting about rioters and people posting about peaceful demonstration. 

I saw friend after friend post picture after picture, post after post, story after story. Stories about people excluding pro-lifers and stories about pro-lifers going anyway. 

Yesterday, as I was running errands I drove past some marchers in my own city. And they all seemed to be protesting different issues. Some were definitely pro-choice. Some wanted affordable health care for everyone. Some didn't like our current president's nominee for secretary of education. Some just didn't like our current president.

Elsewhere in this same city, a local March for Life was occurring. I believe in both women's rights and the right to life for all people. I suppose you could call me a pro-life feminist. 

 I have four daughters. I'm trying to raise them to be strong women.   

This is what I want them to know about being a woman.

This is what we all wore today to Mass.  Go see Rosie for more My Sunday Best.
Women are beautiful creatures made in the image of God. So are men. Women deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. So do men. Your body is a beautiful thing with the ability to create life. Use it wisely. Use it well. Sex makes babies. All the birth control in the world doesn't stop that basic, biological fact. The smart thing to do is to not have sex with anyone who isn't 100% committed to you and to any children that may result from that sexual encounter. This is why the church teaches that sex is for marriage only. I hope and pray that you follow that church teaching. But, if you don't. If something happens, or someone hurts you and you get pregnant unexpectedly, I hope you realize that life is precious.  All life is precious. And no matter what happens, ending a life, even an unborn life, is not the answer. There are many people out there willing to help you. Your parents will always help you and there are many other loving souls more than willing to lend a helping hand. Seek them out. 

It's a sad fact of life than men hurt women sometimes. Men have been known to abuse and rape and kill and abandon women. This is why we take precautions when we go places, especially at night. Be very, very picky about which men you choose to date and hang out with and marry. Don't put up with anyone treating your poorly. Ask any woman who has ever been hurt by a man. It's better to be alone than to be in a bad relationship. Thankfully, there are lots of good men out there. They are worth waiting for and seeking out. 

Take responsibility for yourself and take care of your self. Just because something was an accident or not your fault doesn't mean that you still don't have to deal with the consequences. Sometimes bad things happen and there was nothing we could have done to prevent it. But sometimes taking precautions is also wise. This is why we wear seat-belts and driver slower in the snow. Be very careful about alcohol. Many women get hurt when excessive alcohol consumption is involved. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions and ability to make sound judgment. Use alcohol wisely and never abuse it. Nonetheless. if someone does hurt you (even if you made a poor choice) know that it's not your fault, it's never your fault and we will always help you through it. 

Maybe someday you will have children. Or maybe you will desperately want a child, but be unable to have one. Or maybe you will have a child, but be unable to produce milk for that child. Sometimes our bodies don't work the way we want them to. Sometimes we think we are too fat or too thin or too short or too tall or we don't like our hair or skin or hips or arms. Society tells us that every woman should look one particular way. That is a lie. Love your body. It is beautiful. Take care of it. Feed it well. Eat your vegetables. Keep active and exercise. Treat your body with respect.

Being a woman is a wonderful thing. Be proud of your womanhood.I don't know what you will choose to do with your life, but I know it will be wonderful. Maybe you will have a great career as a doctor or lawyer or engineer or business owner or teacher. Maybe you will decide to stay home with your children. Maybe you will work part-time. Maybe during some parts of your life you will work outside the home and other times you will stay home. Maybe you will have a religious vocation and join an order or nuns. All those options are good options. Just do whatever God is calling you to do.  Pray a lot. You have a smart mind. Feed it well with good books and good media and avoid that which is trash or brings you down and encourages things that are wrong.

It's wonderful to be a woman. Sometimes women hurt other women. Surround yourself with friends that will lift you up, not drag you down. Never change to be like someone else or change so that someone else will like you. Be kind to others...always. Think before opening your mouth. Your words can hurt other people. Use them wisely. Never hurt another person for your own personal gain. Always try to do the right thing and know that you are loved. God loves you. Your father and I love you. Your siblings love you. Your extended family loves you. 

So, last of all.

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Sunday, January 1, 2017

That time I was out at 1:30 AM on New Year's Eve.

So...last night I was out past midnight for the first time since 1998 or so when I partied like it was 1999 at the Youth 2000 New Year's Eve Retreat. Anyone else remember those?
Ben and I had gone out for dinner to celebrate our anniversary but were home at a respectable 8:30 PM. Because we had a tired baby with us and a babysitting teen at home and I turn into a pumpkin at 10:00 PM.
In a series of unfortunate events involving the garage door having been left open and a well-meaning child putting the dog outside, our dog got out. Once we realized he was gone (about 10-20 minutes later), we scoured the neighborhood, but he was nowhere to be found. Which was odd, because he wasn't gone long and is not the type of dog to run away.
Anyway, I come home and somehow stumble upon the Lost Dogs of Our Fair City Facebook page and sure enough...there is a picture of our George. Someone had posted that they picked him at the corner of X street and Y street and dropped him off at animal control. What just happens to be at the corned of X street and Y street you may be asking? Why it's OUR HOUSE! So, he was sorta dog-napped, but not really.
Anyway, I go to bed at my usual time of 9:30 (intending to contact animal control when they open again on Tuesday) because I need my beauty sleep. Well around midnight, I was rather rudely awakened by fireworks going on right outside my house. At 12:15, my phone rang. Now phone calls at 12:15 AM are never good things, so I answer with much trepidation.
It is the animal control officer letting me know that they have our dog and she will be there until 2 AM if I want to pick him up that night. Otherwise, they won't be open again until Tuesday.. Um okay. Because apparently Animal Control works on New Year's Eve, but not New Year's Day or the day after.
Since I am such an animal-loving softy and I wanted to make my kids happy by surprising them and having our dog back in the morning, I ventured out on New Year's Eve at 12:30 AM, leaving the rest of the household in peaceful slumber, praying all the time that I wouldn't get hit by a drunk driver and killed, leaving my poor husband to raise 5 children alone.
Spoiler alert: I made it there and back safely. No drunk drivers. I did pass a lot of drunk walkers though, while passing through downtown.
When I get to animal control (which I only found thanks to the modern miracle of GPS enabled smartphones) I am unable to find the doorbell to ring the Animal Control officer anywhere. So, I called, and called and called and called and called, while walking around the building and doors looking for the doorbell, Finally the officer comes to the door, I get our dog back and make it home safely.
In an even more fortunate incident, I had renewed our dog license just last week when I got a notice that our cat license needed to be renewed. We never received a notice about the dog, so it had been expired since around October, but I renewed it just in time and they even waived the reclaim fee.
On top of that, animal control also made him a spiffy dog tag with his name and our address on it, so all's well that ends well.
And even though I only got a few hours of sleep last night, I still managed to wake up with my usual cheery disposition and pretty myself up and head off to Mass. Since, I'm blogging anyway, I figured I might as well link up with Rosie for My Sunday Best..

Aren't Elsa's leggings the best!!
(Most of my clothes are from Schoola. My new favorite online thrift shop. If you use my link and this is your first time shopping, you get $10.)
And I want documentation of that one time I was up at 1;30 AM on New Year's Eve. Hopefully it won't happen again for another 18 years.

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